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Dianne Salerni : Writer of Teen and Middle Grade Fiction | Anti-Invisibility Wear

Anti-Invisibility Wear

Harry Potter can keep his Invisibility Cloak. I’d rather be seen – and not stepped on.

I’m only 5 feet 2 inches tall, and I don’t make out well in crowds. I can’t see, and people tend to push me around. With my family leaving on Saturday for a vacation at Disney and Universal Studios, I am starting to plan my packing – and I well remember the lesson I learned on our last visit.

We visited Disney in 2005, and I recall that the first couple days of the trip were a misery to me. I was stepped on, pushed aside, elbowed out of the way – and mostly by men. Yes, men. It didn’t matter that I was obviously a mom with 2 small children in tow, and my husband’s presence didn’t help, either. It didn’t matter whether the man looked like a CEO on vacation with his own family or a Hell’s Angel who wandered into Disney by mistake – I was invisible.

I did try to make myself known. I squealed when they stepped on my feet. I protested when somebody pushed past me. “Excuse me!” or “Hey! Watch it!” At best, I would get a look of contempt: You are an obstacle in my way.

By the morning of the third day, as I tallied my bruises, I wondered: Is chivalry dead? Or only for the nondescript? I decided to try a little social experiment.

This is what I wore on the first day:

This is what I wore starting on Day Three:

Do you see the difference? Yeah, I bet you can. For the rest of the trip, men held doors open for me. They waved me ahead of them in line. They smiled at me. My husband, observing from a distance, laughed and laughed. He didn’t think it would make a difference (‘cause he likes me no matter what I’m wearing), but it did.

It’s a SAD, SAD testimony to life in America, folks. But I learned my lesson. In packing to face Disney this year, I am going to remember the Three C’s of Crowd Wear: Comfortable, Cool, and Cleavage.

16 Responses to Anti-Invisibility Wear

  1. Candyland says:

    Hahahaha. If you’ve got ’em, use ’em.

  2. hahaha, Dianne! Love those three C’S!! I’m 5 foot 2 also – can DEFINITELY relate!

  3. My parents took the matching-family-t-shirts route. We looked like a different shade of highlighter on each family trip. Oh and we were the only folk with fanny packs. If we got stepped on it wasn’t a result of our height.

  4. bwahahaha! That is so funny. And yes, maybe sad if you think about the state of our culture. I’m only an inch taller. But since I have no cleavage to speak of, I have to rely on Hairography (new word I learned from GLEE) to help from getting stepped on or pushed aside. I keep my hair long, blond, and flip it around a lot:)

  5. Haha! This made me laugh out loud. That’s hysterical. I hope you have a great time on your trip!

  6. Sun Singer says:

    Nothing beats creative clothing.

  7. Mike says:

    I don’t understand, but I only started reading from Day Three. 😉 Just kidding. I’m not tall either and have to suffer this too. I describe myself as the cut point in a line when someone needs to walk through. It’s nice to be non-threatening but simple acknowledgment would be nice. Great post! Have a great vacation!

  8. mshatch says:

    omg, that is sooo funny. I only wish I had some cleavage to use in similar fashion. alas, I was not blessed in that department, enjoy your vacation.

  9. Blee Bonn says:

    LOL, that is hilarious and I’m going to remember that trick next time we go on vacation. 😉

    Have a great time!

  10. OH MY GOSH! That is hilarious! I love the photographic evidence. Well played, Dianne. Well played.

  11. as a fellow five two-er, I am taking notes…first stop tomorrow buying bra to give me that cleavage!!

  12. Vicki Rocho says:

    Hahaha…we didn’t make the rules, but we sure know how to use them to our advantage!

  13. Airport security smiled at me this morning and told me I needed a new driver’s license photo because this one didn’t do me justice. It really works! 😀

  14. Dianne says:

    Omgosh-you go girl! Us short girls who have amble cleavage appreciate this post more than you know!

  15. JEM says:

    Definitely the best three rules ever concocted.

  16. Jen says:

    I don’t know what happen to me but it seems I missed three of your fabulous posts and they weren’t worth missing because they rocked!!!

    This one especially!

    I’m wondering how the trip is going! Hope all is well and I am suspecting that you will be right again about the cleavage concept! Guess it’s true that you should make the most of what you got!