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Dianne Salerni : Writer of Teen and Middle Grade Fiction | Criticisms of a Cynical Adolescent: The Truth Hurts

Criticisms of a Cynical Adolescent: The Truth Hurts

Today I have a rare guest post from my 15 year old daughter, Gabbey. This hardly ever happens (at least not without a lot of wheedling and pleading on my part). Apparently she had a few things she wanted to rant about share in public. So I’ll turn the blog over to her …

Criticisms of a Cynical Adolescent: The Truth Hurts
by Gabrielle Salerni

Honestly—I can’t be the only one who looks around and wonders what happened to my generation. What is it about them that drives me so insane, you say? Why, I’m glad you asked. Let us delve into the deep and find out.
Reason #1:Texting. I think I could name at least thirty people in my school who are married to their phones. I could also name several who go through three or four different phones in a year. Frankly, I don’t see what the big deal is. I get people who text me over the weekend and expect me to respond right away, whereas I won’t check my phone until Sunday night or Monday morning. Then I get to school and that person is upset because I didn’t text them back. Gee, I’m sorry. I guess I was too busy spending time with my family or trying to work through the ten pounds of homework I get every night. Sure, I get that some things are urgent, and someone needs to talk to me right away. In that case, I would recommend using the “talk” function of the phone and actually call me, using your voice to speak to me. Phones do that, you know. 
Reason #2: Grammar use. Now, I’m not asking for perfection. But would it kill you to capitalize the first letter of your sentence? Or use a comma? A period? And if you’re feeling crazy, you might even want to spell things correctly. I’ve never understood all the abbreviations people use in place of words now. Is it really that much work to type out an extra two letters to actually spell out the word “you” instead of “u”? It’s gotten so bad that I can’t understand half the things people say to me online anymore. “hey grrrrrrrrllly!!!! wu? do u wnt 2 hn out ts wknd?”
Look, either speak English or get off my friend list.
And then there’s the opposite, which I understand even less. Some people actually capitalize the first letter of every word when they type. WHY? That’s MORE work! Why would you sit there and hit the shift button every five seconds just to type out a measly sentence? I Mean, This Is So Annoying! Not Only For Me To Type, But It’s Really Annoying To Read!  It feels like I’m reading one giant title.
Reason #3:Clothing. Oh dear god, the things people wear to school nowadays. Do guys think it makes them look cool to have their pants falling down? Do they really think we all want to see their boxers? When you purposely let your pants fall down that far, you’re practically begging me to pull them down the rest of the way. As for girls—why must you make me ashamed to be female? Look, gym shorts and fuzzy boots do not go together. It’s either hot outside or it’s cold. You can’t have it both ways. Also, some of you seemed confused about the difference between a shirt and a dress. Allow me to explain it to you: a shirt covers your torso. A dress covers your rear end and your calves. Now, I understand your confusion since sometimes shirts are different lengths. But you’ll have to be the judge here. If the clothing in question leaves half your ass hanging out, then chances are, it’s a shirt.

        I could go on, really, but I don’t think there’s enough room for me to do so. Anyhow, I’ve shared the gist of my opinions. You’re welcome.

28 Responses to Criticisms of a Cynical Adolescent: The Truth Hurts

  1. Sarah says:

    Well, the saggy pants thing is nothing new. I’m pretty old and that one’s been around for a long time. I’ve always wondered if there’s a trick to keeping them from sliding down to the knees when they’re already hanging so low.

    Hang in there, Gabbey. The world gets a lot bigger when you emerge from high school, and there are plenty of like-minded people out there 🙂

  2. “Look, gym shorts and fuzzy boots do not go together.” <–SNORT!

    Heh heh, Gabbey I feel this same way during school pick-up and these are PARENTS! So it doesn’t change much, but the fish bowl does get bigger.

    You’re a doll, come back and blog some more! 😀

  3. yes, the shorts and fuzzy boots are very snookie from jersy shore. And really- who wants her as a role model? Great observiations Gabbey. Glad you’re not addicted to your phone. It’s not just your generation, rest assured. I’m 30 and my BFF back home still texts me all the time. I suck at replying. I suck at texting, for that matter. As I fumble over the tactile alphabet, I think ‘gee, wouldn’t it be neat if we could just talk aloud to eachother? That’d be so much faster and easier. Someone should really invent that;)

  4. E. Arroyo says:

    This is great. My son is addicted to his phone. Its come to the point where I have to take it away as if he’s two. =)

  5. Brilliantly said. Thank you.

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  7. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. It wouldn’t surprise me if our language evolves to the point that we’ll all speak in text (I have a short story that revolves around this premise). Thanks for sharing your perspective with us, Gabbey! 🙂

  8. Linda G. says:

    Gabbey, you restore my faith in the younger generation. 🙂

  9. Gabbey, love this!! You’re such a clever writer 🙂

    I did have to laugh though – while shaking my head and sighing, of course – because things HAVE NOT changed in the 16 years since I was 15… except that instead of texting, we had pager code.

    Yup, that’s about the only difference.

  10. Rachel says:

    LOVE this post. Like Linda G above me, you give me faith for your generation. Also hilarious because I am not even far off from your gen… (grew up in the 1990’s and 2000’s) But it still different. Kids my age remember VHSs and tape recorders and all that and yours will probably never know what those things are!

  11. Most people your age had parents who plopped them in front of an electronic from the time they were wee little ones. Technology was their parent and babysitter not just entertainment. Gabbey you don’t get your generation because your mother and father raised you to think, value education and they spent time with you! And YOU will be so much more because of it! You already are!

  12. I hear you Gabbey. I hate texting but when I have to do it I refuse to abbreviate anything! What, you don’t like fuzzy boots and short shorts? It’s so practical! 😉

  13. mshatch says:

    Great post, Gabbey, esp. the clothing. I have yet to comprehend the allure of having to yank one’s pants up every 5 seconds.

    And the phone addiction. It’s everyone (except me. I don’t have a cell phone), not just teens. Sometimes I want to say, ‘Hey, why don’t you just embed the thing in your head?’

    Of course, in the future, we probably will…

  14. Gabrielle, this was a great post!

  15. Gabbey, you sure do have your head screwed on right! Good for you. (And your parents.)

  16. Your snark and forthrightness are wonderful and refreshing. 😀

  17. This is all so very true, and it’s only getting worse. Great post! (And don’t change =})

  18. Gabbey, I feel like you could be a great source of fashion advice to my ten year old. She left the house this morning in a plaid skirt, striped shirt, faux uggs, a flower patterned sweater and a polka dot backpack.

  19. Jackee says:

    Ha ha! What a smart girl. If only more thought like her. Thanks for sharing her, Dianne! She’s a daughter to be proud of! <3

  20. So in agreement with everything Gabby has touched on here. It’s amazing since she is 15 and I am 64. Gabbey girl, you are going places sweetie, and I don’t mean out in traffic because you are buried in a cell phone texting! I have kids who think like you. I’m going to send them this post. Write on!

  21. Tonja says:

    I don’t get the pants on the ground thing. It’s not pretty.

  22. Clothing has always been this way. I don’t think that will ever change. LOL

    It’s not just your generation. They all have issues of some sort. Not that it makes it better. 😉

  23. YOU are BANG on Gabrielle!

    By the way (spelled this out just for you) Gabrielle is my FAVORITE girl’s name. I would have named my daughter that if I had ever had one.


    You have a terrific, smart, savvy, and adorable daughter. I hope she never looses her spunk.

  24. AmyMak says:

    Gabbey, I’m sending kids your way! It comes across so much better from you than me. Nice post!

  25. Bravo! *standing ovation*!

  26. Julie Dao says:

    Love this post, Gabbey! AMEN to the married-to-phones. I have what I affectionately refer to as a “granny phone,” in that it’s a device that only makes calls and texts, but 99% of my friends have smartphones and they are ALWAYS. ON. THEM. Sometimes I want to rip it away from their faces, but I’m afraid that would kill them. And lolspeak/textspeak drives me nutso too!

  27. LOL! Great post, and Amen. You have a smart (and funny) daughter Dianne. 🙂