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Dianne Salerni : Writer of Teen and Middle Grade Fiction | Door to Door Salesman

Door to Door Salesman

Got Raw MeatDING DONG.

BARK, BARK, BARK, BARK!

Sorcia rushes the door like a guided missile, throwing herself up on her hind legs and planting her front paws on the glass window. She bares her huge, sharp teeth and snarls. Saliva drips from her canines.

By the time I get to the door, the bell ringer is standing halfway down the walk. He is obviously poised to run for his life, but he still manages to give me a cheerful wave.

I crack open the door. Sorcia pushes past me and gets her head outside before I manage to pin her body against the door with my leg. She is barking and snarling and snapping. “Yeah, hello?” I say to the man.

“Hello, ma’am. That is a beautiful dog!”

Note: Sorcia is a beautiful dog, but every single one of ’em says this, so I assume it must be part of their door-to-door salesman training.

“What do you want?” Sorcia and I are having a battle in the doorway. She slips out a little more.

The man takes a step back, swallows hard, and says, “I’d like to talk to you about windows/siding/driveway sealant/the kingdom of heaven.”

“Uh, no,” I say bluntly, grabbing Sorcia by the collar and heaving backward with all my strength.

“Okay!” He doesn’t argue. He bolts.

I close the door and turn around.

Sorcia has stopped barking. She sits and watches me with big brown eyes. Her wagging tail makes a swishing sound against the floor.

I give her a biscuit.

13 Responses to Door to Door Salesman

  1. Sounds like something my dog would do, though I’m training her not to bark so much–even at salespersons. But it’s a convenient way to get people like that to leave.

  2. We have a Ring doorbell…so we can talk to them and see them on our smartphones (they can’t see us). That helps us get rid of most salespeople.

  3. Tiana Smith says:

    I need this. Even with a No Soliciting sign, they just don’t give up!

  4. Best salesman deterrent ever!

  5. Love it! Think I could borrow her to teach my dog how to do that? Mine cuddles them to death.

  6. Hilary says:

    Hi Dianne – I just say no – before they even start … and shut the door – no dog now-a-days … but what a fun story to read … clever Sorcia .. cheers Hilary

  7. A very well-trained pooch! She deserved that biscuit.

  8. Bish Denham says:

    Good for Sorcia! A job well done. Give another biscuit.

  9. Anna says:

    I may have mentioned I have a lab cross. His rep is good old guy that wouldn’t hurt a fly. Anyone that doesn’t know him and hears his bark expected a huge monster ready to take them down. 🙂

    Anna from elements of emaginette

  10. Lexa Cain says:

    Loud noises freak me out, so if Socia barked at me like that I’d end up in a puddle of pee on the porch. I always open my door, give the poor salesman a smile, say “No thanks” and close the door. It must be a very hard and miserable job. They must need money pretty badly to do it.

  11. Julie Dao says:

    Sorcia is the perfect solicitor prevention! <3

  12. That is some perfect training in action, right there. ^_^