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Dianne Salerni : Writer of Teen and Middle Grade Fiction | Gina Review: Vordak the Incomprehensible

Gina Review: Vordak the Incomprehensible

I’ve got Gina here — ahem — I’ve got ZARKOR here, cape and all, to give us a review of a book that’s pure evil …

Gina’s Review: Vordak the Incomprehensible: How to Grow Up and Rule the World

Do you want to rule the world?  If so this is the book for you!  If not, do a hundred trillion push-ups!  In the beginning of this book take a few tips from Vordak about being evil then take the evil test!  If you pick the evilest answer for all of them Vordak says you will probably at least rule a small island nation. 

Read through the sections about fashion with your belts, your costume, your mask, and your cape.  There are three very important reasons to wear a cape. 1.  Darth Vader wears a cape.   2.  The Riddler does not wear a cape.   3.  Darth Vader is cooler then the Riddler.  Therefore a cape is necessary! 

Read all the top three ways to make a Girl Scout cry or try the ways to ruin a field trip!  You think Santa is nice?  Not when you read this book: example he has only one suit…. which he wears every day…. which means Mrs. Santa has to wash it every night! 

Learn all about the superheroes and how to trap them!  Learn about your minions — which ones you should definitely have and which ones to avoid. Now all you need is an awesome name (but don’t even think about stealing Vordak!)  He gives specific guidelines so you can end up with a name like Zarkor The Unyieldingly Unforgiving.

Now that you’re ruler of the world, don’t you want some tips about what to do with your power?  Well why not play Being Bowling: line up everyone in a town in a bowling arrangement then set up a big tower and roll your big bowling ball down!  Want more fun things to do?  Read this book then, or of course you could do ten million sit-ups.  You choose!

I would recommend this book to someone who enjoys a good laugh and wants to be ruler of the world.  I liked this book because Vordak plays tricks on you to make you look like you possess the brains of a turnip.  Also he includes a special maze with a lazy solution.

6 Responses to Gina Review: Vordak the Incomprehensible

  1. salarsenッ says:

    This was hilarious!! Great job. You’ve really sold me on this book!

  2. Lenny Lee* says:

    hi gina! cool review. im thinking i could like this book cause i like fun stuff and i like books that make me laugh. for sure i want to know how i could get to rule at least that island. i play wii bowling but bowing pin people sounds lots more fun. ha ha.
    …smiles from lenny

  3. Linda G. says:

    LOL! Great review, Gina. Very good point about capes. 😉

  4. this sounds so funny! What a great review! Thanks Gina!

  5. Kate says:

    Great review. Thanks Gina!

  6. Vicki Rocho says:

    This is fabulous! I gotta find out what my Supervillain name is!