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Dianne Salerni : Writer of Teen and Middle Grade Fiction | The Graveyard of Abandoned Handbags

The Graveyard of Abandoned Handbags

I went shopping for a new handbag this weekend, my second new bag in 2 weeks. When I got home, I threw the previous new bag in the back of my closet, then did a double-take. That was a pretty big pile back there!

As you can see, I’m not a designer handbag type of gal. I buy them cheap, because I know they won’t last long.

When my children were small, I favored sack bags, because they carry everything: a stuffed animal, sunscreen, a sippy cup, a granola bar or a baggie full of cheerios.

Husband reading blog over my shoulder: I miss you carrying snacks in your purse.

But although you can fit everything into a sack bag, you can’t find anything. So sacks drive me to organizers – with special pockets for all my items. Of course, these bags have their own problems. Let’s take that teardrop shaped one. I saw it in a catalog and ordered it right away, because it was designed to take painful weight off my shoulder and distribute it evenly across my back. Makes sense, right? Plus it had a total of 12 different pockets to organize all my belongings, including that clever one on the outside to hold an umbrella or a water bottle.

Of course, that pocket wasn’t wide enough to fit an umbrella or a water bottle or even a sippy cup. And 12 pockets meant that I had to look in 12 places before I found my car keys. As for distributing the weight of all my items across my back – that would have been brilliant, if it wasn’t for a little thing called GRAVITY. Everything ended up in the bottom, and who could have seen that coming?

I did find one purse in the bottom of the closet that actually looked pretty good. A pocket in the front for my cell phone, a special access pocket in the back for my wallet.

Me: Why did I quit this one?
Husband: You sound like you’re talking about old boyfriends!

I have to say a word about the Dooney & Bourke bag. Bob gave it to me one Christmas, and I know he was disappointed by my reaction. The sales clerk said his wife would be thrilled to get a DB bag, but as far as I knew, Dooney & Bourke was one of the shops Harry Potter visited in Diagon Alley. I tried to like it; I really did.

Husband: Sigh.

Here’s the bag I bought this weekend. It’s a Nine West bag, kind of cute with a cell phone nook in front and some pockets, but not too many. What’s cool about it is that you can unfold it to make it bigger, and then it’s a sack! I wonder how long it will last?

Ladies, what kind of handbag do you carry? And gentlemen, how do you commit yourselves to a wallet?

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16 Responses to The Graveyard of Abandoned Handbags

  1. Lenny says:

    hi miss dianne! i cant believe you got sooooo many bags in your closet. you need a clean out for sure cause you could only need one for all that junk you ladies carry. yikes! my sisters bag is stuffed full up of junk she says shes just gotta have. its so heavy it could knock you out if you got hit with it. ha ha. for me i got just one wallet that i got at christmas and i got id and some money and pictures in it and thats all.
    …smiles from lenny

  2. Oh. My. Gawd. I’m laughing right now because you are so me or I am so you! I bought a sack-type pocketbook recently and hated it. There was only one pocket. Everything was sort of dumped in the purse and I could never find anything. I promptly ditched the sack and went back to buying a purse with pockets so I could organize my contents: business cards in one pocket, cell phone in another, etc. So I’m with ya sister on the whole pocket thing. I like to be able to find what I need immediately and not have to search for it in a mountain of stuff. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who thinks like this. Thanks for starting my Monday with a smile. I hope you have a super week. Blessings, Buffy

  3. This is my closet. Too funny. Right now I’m still carrying around a diaper bag. When I’m alone I carry a purse. I have so many because I’m a sucker for them. Not designer ones but ones made by local artists. It’s a horrible addiction. I’ve slowed down on my obsession but I’m left with a pile in my closet.
    I can’t wait to stop carrying snacks and sippy cups. 🙂

  4. Candyland says:

    I only have one purse at a time. I’m not typical, I know. Mine is a huge messenger-type purse that I can never find anything in.

  5. Jen says:

    This was hilarious!!! I hold one purse at a time, I keep them inexpensive so that when they get to dirty or disgusting I swap them out and my hubs doesn’t freak. I love one’s with pockets, I have a lot to carry (ridiculous because the pile just grows!) and snacks are a MUST!

    Regardless if I have one item or twenty I’m still unable to find anything in my bag!

  6. My kids the other day asked me why I don’t carry a purse. If I go anywhere where I need a bag, I proudly carry my SCBWI book bag. *hey, look at me, I’m a writer!*

    Occasionally I take my small pink purse, but that’s only if I really need one.

  7. Linda G. says:

    I only used one purse between 2005 and Christmas 2009, when my hubs bought me a new one. The old one was huge, and I think he got sick of seeing my “suitcase,” as he was fond of calling it. I’m slowly adapting to not carrying the world with me wherever I go, but it’s tough. 😉

  8. salarsenッ says:

    Oh the life of a young mother…I was that Mom who carried everything. It was pathetic what I put myself through. I still carry a satchel. Technically it’s a purse, Ed Hardy. It’s a tad eclectic, but it suits me.

  9. Anne says:

    I buy cheap bags too. Target is my best friend. I still have young kids so nothing but mega bags for me 🙂

  10. Al says:

    Gotta admit: I chuckled at first at the pic of the pile of purses. But I was hasty. Not only do moms with kids have to tote stuff, there’s also the problem of coordinating with clothes. I’m a guy, and I don’t worry about coordinating things much, but even without little kids under foot I still have stuff to tote. My solution is a guy thing: an L. L. Bean tote bag. I always carry water–that’s the fashion nowadays but it’s an old custom in rural Texas, where getting marooned in the boonies can be a serious problem. I also carry a camera, a book, magazine, or a Kindle, medical supplies (aspirin, Tums, etc.), gum, hand sanitizer, a pipe and tobacco, and in season, a windbreaker, and sometimes, the mail. Clearly, pockets do not suffice. Many times, I leave the tote bag in the car when I arrive. Hardly anyone snickers when they see me with my tote bag, and if they do, well, tough nuts. It’s a guy thing. You gotta be strong. I can’t attach a photo, but I’ll send one separately. Cheers!

  11. Marva says:

    I don’t keep the old ones when I get a new. Reason: I’m getting a new one ’cause the old one is in tatters. Goodwill wouldn’t want.

    BUT, I have some special purpose bags. When I go to Las Vegas, I use a fanny pack (which goes in front), but I bring a larger bag on the plane into which I can put my fanny pack and my Kindle.

    When I went to Disneyworld, I got this cool, over-the-shoulder safari thing, which my husband says he wants to use when we go to Europe (someday!).

    That’s it. My everyday bag is made of rain proof nylon rip-stop and may never wear out.

  12. Name: Aine says:

    At work, I carry a backpack. This allows me to carry all I need and hold onto both of my clients in the community. Occasionally I use a messenger bag, but it tends to get to heavy for my shoulder, so I prefer the backpack.

    When not at work, I carry my sack backpack. It has a pocket on the front, which I like. A lot of sack backpacks don’t. Or, I carry my black and purple Jack Skellington purse, which is kind of like a small messenger bag. I can’t wear a purse on just one shoulder.

    I have a ton of bags though, but I keep them in my storage closet. There are 4 that I use regularly, rotating depending on my mood and the size I need. I find that I prefer smaller bags. I don’t carry a lot: phone, wallet, keys, mp3 player, and a few little things like eye drops (because I wear contacts) and gum. But if I have a bigger bag, I tend to carry a lot of extra crap

    As for designer bags. I don’t get it. My cousin has a bunch, but I have no interest. I look at them and go “But I could buy 15 hardbacks for that price!” I had no idea what Dooney & Bourke bag was, either. My cousin got one for Christmas years ago, and her mom called it the Doobie Brothers bag because she couldn’t remember Dooney & Bourke.

  13. Hmmm… can we call Al’s L.L. Bean tote bag a “man bag” or does the tote nature excuse it as a “gym bag.” I’m not sure what you can get away with in Texas, but I buy the bit about carrying extra water!

    Personally I think a Jack Skellington purse would be more interesting than a Dooney and Bourke purse.

    Honestly, wasn’t Dooney and Bourke where the evil wizards bought their wands?

  14. Name: Aine says:

    Borgin and Burkes? That’s where Harry ended up with the floo powder incident.

    And Jack Skellington is definitely cooler than little “DB”s.

  15. I think I have the same bag as you in plum! I love it! I’ve had it for 5 months and it still looks great. I bought another purse on the same day…I haven’t used it yet. LOL…I like to use up a purse and then move on, ecept for travel purses or evening bags. 🙂

  16. Dianne says:

    I find who has the best sales on handbags as I use them a while before I switch them out. Boscov’s has a nice selection and sales all the time. Then it can’t weigh too much empty or I know it will do in my shoulder and back. I really shouldn’t use a shoulder bag either. And I like compartments in the front for keys and zipped up ones for makeup,etc. I think I still have more purses than you. ; )