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Dianne Salerni : Writer of Teen and Middle Grade Fiction | What’s the Most Embarrassing Thing …

What’s the Most Embarrassing Thing …

… you’ve ever been caught “rehearsing” for your writing?

You know what I mean. Sometimes, you just have to act it out, right? Tell me I’m not the only one who practices bits of dialogue (both sides of the conversation) just to see how it’ll sound.

No, seriously. Tell me.

Because I can’t be the only nut who tries to figure out how each character is standing, what gestures the speaker will use, what expression will be on the listener’s face …

So, one night, I take the dog outside to do her business, and I wait on the deck while she runs down to the yard. I’ve been contemplating a scene where my character and his love interest are standing on a balcony, leaning on the railing. He’s at his lowest point; she’s talking to him – and there’s a spontaneous, impulsive, he-has-nothing-more-to-lose kiss. I was trying to figure out the logistics of it, height differential, where their arms would be … you get it.

It was a dark night, a cloudy sky with no stars and no moon. Really pitch black out. And nobody could see me. I was alone, right? I practice out the whole dialogue; I move my arm; I turn my head.

Suddenly, there’s a presence beside me, a weight on the railing, and I get kissed!

A big, wet, sloppy dog kiss.

And Sorcia, with her front paws on the railing, just grins at me.

Maybe it’s no coincidence I never used that scene in my story.

So, come on. Make me feel better! Has it ever happened to you?

15 Responses to What’s the Most Embarrassing Thing …

  1. lol! I don’t think I’ve ever acted it out to that point. Bwahahah! But I’ve definitely said dialogue aloud before writing it down. And for some of the more active scenes in fossegrim I tried to figure out how I’d be holding a tranq gun in one hand and a hand gun in the other;) lol

  2. KrysteyBelle says:

    LOL I love that story! I’ve never really been caught doing anything, but I talk to myself all the time and say the lines out loud. I think my husband just accepts that I’m weird and goes on with his business. And if people see me acting out scenes while I’m driving my car, well, at least they can have a good laugh about it. =)

  3. Linda G. says:

    LOL! One of our kids once walked in on me trying to stab TG with a pencil. (What? I had to figure out the logistics of slicing a femoral artery if you’re grabbed in bear hug. At least I was using a pencil, and not a real knife.)

  4. Gina says:

    Hi Dianne! I came over from Katie’s Bloffee. I can honestly say I’ve never rehearsed one of my scenes, because in my dorky Minnie Mouse voice, they would totally not be the same! Cute post though 🙂

  5. Um, yeah, I have acted out a scene. Numerous times. Especially action scenes. No car chases though. (Try explaining that one to the cops). 😉

  6. That is so funny! I’m sure Sorcia was well pleased with herself for that. 🙂

    Happens to me all the time. Especially when I’m out for walks to try to work through some stuff. It’s usually when I’m thinking through two characters arguing or fighting with each other. I don’t voice their words, but I notice that I’m unintentionally mimmicking their facial expressions as I’m thinking about what they’re saying. I’m sure I look like some hostile, crazy nutjob.

    I should stick a Bluetooth in my ear and then nobody would think twice about it.

  7. Hi, new follower from Katie’s blog. I completely relate to this post seeing’s how I feel the need to read my dialogue out loud and have been known to mumble it in the car while driving to soccer practice. “mom, what are you saying up there!?!”

  8. Oh, Dianne, you just made my day!

    I get to read out the dialogue scenes when I read them to my hubby. He’s patient because I’m always having to edit things.

    As for acting out scenes, I’ve got two sons who have studied Karate with me, so they help me work out my action scenes. The do the working out while I furiously scribble.

  9. Jenny says:

    Funny story!

    I just talk to myself a lot 🙂

  10. So funny, Dianne.

    I generally read out my dialogue to make sure it flows, often using different voices for optimum effect.

    I think “acting” it out is a great idea. That way you give the reader a true visual. NOT CRAZY … IMAGINATIVE.

    I have an award for you… Congrats.

  11. Susan Oloier says:

    That is a wonderful story! I have not acted out any scenes or dialogue. I bet you would make a great playwright, though 🙂
    New follower to your blog through Creepy Query Girl’s site!

  12. Lenny Lee* says:

    hi miss dianne! you got me laughing on that bit doggy kiss scorcia gave you. ha ha. i do that stuff lots at our house cause i got animals in my stories and wanna give them good voices that fit them. mostly my brothers & my sister dont care so much but when i got gunther the yoddling goat going they pushed my out the door. even the neighbors dog got covering his ears. ha ha.
    hugs from lenny

  13. E. Arroyo says:

    Ha…I practiced with a Katana blade because my seventeen year old hero weilds a long blade. Well, um, I couldn’t lift if for so long. Needless to say she turned into an archer.

  14. I read dialog out loud, but haven’t done any acting out of scenes. At least, your sweet pooch won’t make fun of you or tell anyone about it. No, wait! You just told on yourself, didn’t you? Um, it’s perfectly normal behavior, dear. Perfectly normal.

  15. Totally with you on this one, girlfriend. Thanks for the smile this morning:)