Last year I posted a story about the DIY Vandals who originally owned our house. These people bought the place half-completed and finished the job themselves with the cheapest (ugliest) materials they could find. They did such a terrible job that they only lived here for 3 years before moving on to another home.

It has taken us years to un-do their home improvements gone awry. Finally, after nine years, we tackled the kitchen. First my husband Bob and my brother-in-law Larry started on the hideous, 7-sided island. Predictably, retired federal officer Larry suggested low order explosives. (He’d already determined several years back that high order explosives were a no-no in household projects.)

However, since the Vandals who built the island thoughtfully made it out of plywood and glue, it pretty much came apart in their hands and was gone in a matter of minutes.

Next, Bob tackled the floor — a particularly hated item for us. I’m sure you can see the lovely corner flower design in these pictures, but I’m not sure you can appreciate the Pepto Bismol pink without seeing it in person.  Not to mention the glue stains.  (You thought I was kidding about the glue, didn’t you? Nope, that’s how the heptagonal island was attached to the floor.)

As I type this, Bob is prying up the tiles in the next room with a crowbar.  In the garage, we have cabinets waiting that are made out of real wood. They will comprise our new island, and we’ve got the tile scheduled to be installed.  After that, we’ll bring in the granite people to tackle the final ugly thing in our kitchen — the Vandals’ version of a tiled counter top. Yes, it’s also Pepto Bismol pink, and yes, they did think grout covered up all mistakes. Look at that lovely patchwork job on the corner!

Right now, Sorcia is lying in the doorway watching the destruction, ears down and whimpering softly. She seems to be saying: “Oh, that’s BAD stuff going on in there. I’d get in TROUBLE if I did that.”

I promise to post pictures when the whole thing is transformed. But for the next couple weeks, we’ll be eating a lot of meals OUT.