dianne salerni author
dianne salerni author


We came pretty close to having a CNN-worthy incident on our Florida-bound plane last week.

But let me back up and say that thanks to my husband and his “don’t go with the herd” mentality, we had a pretty smooth arrival at the US Air terminal at Philadelphia and passed through security in just a couple minutes. (Blog post by husband on this strategy will go up as soon as he writes it.) The only blip on our radar screen was a gruff fellow who tried to insert himself in the boarding line between my husband and the rest of our family. I was pretty proud of myself for speaking up (in a pleasant manner) and telling him we were all together. He snapped at me with a sarcastic “Excuuuuse me!” but I smiled and thanked him when he reluctantly stood aside for my children to pass.

However, it looked as if our plane departure was going to be delayed when the flight attendant tried to give safety instructions and explain the duties of the exit row passengers. A woman seated next to the emergency door became belligerent and obnoxious, and when the attendant suggested that her seat be moved, the woman’s husband responded with hostility. Two pleasant young men of college age volunteered to take the exit row seats, and the troublesome pair were forced to move their seats or deplane.

Unfortunately, their new seats placed them across the aisle from me, where I was treated to their muttering, complaining, and foul mouths throughout the three hours from Philly to Orlando. The F-bomb was flying; they repeatedly called the attendant a b****. “This is not over,” the man kept saying. “She’s won the first round, but we’ll get her!” These two nincompoops spent the entire trip planning the downfall of the flight attendant like a pair of feeble-minded cartoon villains.

On a trip to the restroom, I caught the attendant and gave her my business card. I told her that if these passengers caused any trouble for her, she could contact me. She smiled because she said she’d already been given cards by two other passengers. When she flashed the cards at me, I had to laugh – because one of them belonged to my husband. He’d apparently already given her his card on an earlier trip to the restroom. I thanked her for doing her duty and told her I certainly would not have wanted my family depending on those two knuckleheads in an emergency.

Oh – and about that kharma? Remember the rude guy in the airport who cut off my children and was unrepentant and sarcastic about it? When the seating was rearranged before take-off, he ended up having to sit next to the foul-mouthed pair for the entire trip.

Sometimes, you get what you deserve.